








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 996 | 28% |
| Smokes | 914 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 806 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 797 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $782,600 of utility $252 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1CunningKitten | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Just a lil Guy | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | BHammer | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | MountainDrew31 | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Schuetz | 57% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | FirePatriot | 50% | 22 |
| #10 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 46% | 57 |
| #11 | Orb | 45% | 73 |
| #12 | Royal | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | Crayon Muncher 🖍 | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crayon Muncher 🖍 | 6 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Schuetz | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Dr. Zeus | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | 1CunningKitten | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Nighthawk_15 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Zeus | 253 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Orb | 187 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Schuetz | 175 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nighthawk_15 | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 125 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schuetz | +4.44 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | 1CunningKitten | +4.03 | 86 | 40 |
| #3 | FirePatriot | +2.54 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | Orb | +1.20 | 83 | 54 |
| #5 | pdizzy | +0.18 | 44 | 52 |





