








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 280 | 43% |
| Smokes | 56 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 149 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 159 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,184 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arizona Ranger | 55% | 80 |
| #2 | Meep | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | Emma ♡ | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | Phijkchu | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | B U L B U S 4K | 43% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Meep | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | Emma ♡ | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | Phijkchu | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | B U L B U S 4K | 43% | 82 |
| #6 | Cereal | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | B U L B U S 4K | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Arizona Ranger | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Phijkchu | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Cereal | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | 489 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Phijkchu | 401 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | B U L B U S 4K | 401 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | Arizona Ranger | 135 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cereal | 55 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | +6.60 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Phijkchu | +0.56 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | Emma ♡ | -1.67 | 59 | 14 |
| #4 | Arizona Ranger | -1.72 | 58 | 36 |
| #5 | B U L B U S 4K | -2.84 | 53 | 50 |





