








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 571 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4949 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4151 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 908 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 2719 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $986,165 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arizona Ranger | 56% | 130 |
| #2 | Meep | 55% | 368 |
| #3 | B U L B U S 4K | 51% | 185 |
| #4 | Cereal | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | Emma ♡ | 49% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Meep | 55% | 368 |
| #3 | B U L B U S 4K | 51% | 185 |
| #4 | Cereal | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | Emma ♡ | 49% | 113 |
| #6 | Texas Red | 47% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | 24 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | B U L B U S 4K | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Arizona Ranger | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Emma ♡ | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Cereal | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | 1386 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #2 | B U L B U S 4K | 801 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | Arizona Ranger | 198 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cereal | 160 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Texas Red | 120 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | +4.32 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Phijkchu | +0.24 | 54 | 67 |
| #3 | Cereal | -1.11 | 71 | 50 |
| #4 | Emma ♡ | -1.89 | 63 | 11 |
| #5 | B U L B U S 4K | -2.27 | 50 | 47 |





