








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3329 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4015 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 656 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 2873 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,576,805 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arizona Ranger | 57% | 156 |
| #2 | Phijkchu | 55% | 368 |
| #3 | B U L B U S 4K | 51% | 240 |
| #4 | Cereal | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Texas Red | 50% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Phijkchu | 55% | 368 |
| #3 | B U L B U S 4K | 51% | 240 |
| #4 | Cereal | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Texas Red | 50% | 115 |
| #6 | Emma ♡ | 48% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B U L B U S 4K | 19 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Arizona Ranger | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Phijkchu | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Emma ♡ | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Cereal | 5 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phijkchu | 1838 | 0.26 | 45 min |
| #2 | B U L B U S 4K | 1091 | 0.23 | 23 min |
| #3 | Arizona Ranger | 235 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cereal | 184 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | Texas Red | 160 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | +4.58 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Phijkchu | +0.20 | 54 | 67 |
| #3 | Cereal | -1.13 | 72 | 51 |
| #4 | Emma ♡ | -1.63 | 61 | 12 |
| #5 | Arizona Ranger | -2.14 | 58 | 35 |





