








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 459 | 21% |
| Smokes | 299 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 932 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,228 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | 57% | 156 |
| #2 | Phijkchu | 56% | 130 |
| #3 | Texas Red | 55% | 80 |
| #4 | B U L B U S 4K | 55% | 117 |
| #5 | Cereal | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Phijkchu | 56% | 130 |
| #3 | Texas Red | 55% | 80 |
| #4 | B U L B U S 4K | 55% | 117 |
| #5 | Cereal | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | Emma ♡ | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | B U L B U S 4K | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Emma ♡ | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Cereal | 4 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Phijkchu | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phijkchu | 590 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Meep | 570 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | B U L B U S 4K | 523 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #4 | Texas Red | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cereal | 83 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | +6.47 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Phijkchu | +1.34 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | Emma ♡ | -1.33 | 59 | 12 |
| #4 | B U L B U S 4K | -1.94 | 52 | 44 |
| #5 | Arizona Ranger | -2.23 | 58 | 35 |





