








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1007 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 637 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1223 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 414 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1994 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,273 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13levi37 | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | Arizona Ranger | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | Phijkchu | 49% | 113 |
| #4 | Texas Red | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Meep | 48% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | B U L B U S 4K | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Kohaku | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Arizona Ranger | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | herPuppy :*3 | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meep | 525 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | Phijkchu | 450 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | B U L B U S 4K | 345 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | herPuppy :*3 | 104 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ashe | 86 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13levi37 | +7.05 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | herPuppy :*3 | +5.27 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | Meep | +4.71 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | Ashe | +0.68 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | Phijkchu | +0.33 | 56 | 67 |





