








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 914 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Wingman | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3752 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3415 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3498 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2916 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,127,790 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 434 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jasonlee42 | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | HoanG乌龟 | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | VÆRTΞCX | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | Vieze Asbak | 56% | 81 |
| #5 | blep | 53% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Tim13o | 47% | 91 |
| #12 | Ocean65 | 47% | 169 |
| #13 | TIMED OUT | 46% | 140 |
| #14 | mentalityman21 | 46% | 206 |
| #15 | TakTazzz | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mentalityman21 | 24 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Ocean65 | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Vieze Asbak | 14 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | blep | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | immer weiter immer vor | 10 | 0.0121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ocean65 | 747 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | mentalityman21 | 579 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | blep | 498 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Tim13o | 302 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | TIMED OUT | 260 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suun | +2.21 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | jasonlee42 | +1.83 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | robson | +1.57 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | QUiCKZ | +1.17 | 87 | 66 |
| #5 | HoanG乌龟 | +1.01 | 83 | 64 |





