








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 725 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2043 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1526 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2678 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1572 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,579 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suun | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | HoanG乌龟 | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | jasonlee42 | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Heppo | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | QUiCKZ | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | TakTazzz | 43% | 21 |
| #15 | Ocean65 | 41% | 100 |
| #16 | Tim13o | 40% | 42 |
| #17 | pAuL | 39% | 28 |
| #18 | immer weiter immer vor | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robson | 16 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | mentalityman21 | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Ocean65 | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | VÆRTΞCX | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Vieze Asbak | 5 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ocean65 | 432 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | mentalityman21 | 381 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | robson | 380 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | blep | 244 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | QUiCKZ | 169 | 0.17 | 5 min |





