








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1351 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1348 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1162 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1146 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,234,411 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 635 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparky | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Vex | 64% | 55 |
| #3 | Hello | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | Vongola | 57% | 131 |
| #5 | JoNe$Y | 57% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hello | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | Vongola | 57% | 131 |
| #5 | JoNe$Y | 57% | 109 |
| #6 | Sunday Tiger | 57% | 44 |
| #7 | Playoff Run | 54% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Playoff Run | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Vongola | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | JoNe$Y | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Sunday Tiger | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Vex | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Playoff Run | 742 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | Vongola | 326 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | JoNe$Y | 209 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sunday Tiger | 184 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Vex | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milkjug | +4.01 | 84 | 41 |
| #2 | JoNe$Y | +3.60 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | Sparky | +1.10 | 80 | 51 |
| #4 | Vongola | -0.78 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | Vex | -0.95 | 74 | 53 |





