








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 162 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2687 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2182 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1644 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2154 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,150,377 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milkjug | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | Vongola | 58% | 84 |
| #3 | Playoff Run | 53% | 168 |
| #4 | Hello | 52% | 98 |
| #5 | Sunday Tiger | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Playoff Run | 1001 | 0.27 | 27 min |
| #2 | JoNe$Y | 370 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Hello | 270 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Vongola | 219 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sunday Tiger | 152 | 0.19 | 4 min |





