








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2954 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2866 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2630 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2958 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,033 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vongola | 58% | 175 |
| #2 | Milkjug | 57% | 109 |
| #3 | Sunday Tiger | 53% | 94 |
| #4 | Playoff Run | 52% | 285 |
| #5 | Vex | 49% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Milkjug | 57% | 109 |
| #3 | Sunday Tiger | 53% | 94 |
| #4 | Playoff Run | 52% | 285 |
| #5 | Vex | 49% | 158 |
| #6 | Hello | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milkjug | 24 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Playoff Run | 20 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Vex | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Sunday Tiger | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Vongola | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Playoff Run | 1549 | 0.25 | 41 min |
| #2 | Vex | 438 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Vongola | 435 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | Sunday Tiger | 406 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #5 | Hello | 221 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoNe$Y | +3.49 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | Milkjug | +3.12 | 82 | 44 |
| #3 | Hello | -0.51 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Vongola | -0.70 | 62 | 68 |
| #5 | Vex | -1.05 | 74 | 57 |





