








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8584 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6608 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5552 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6839 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,064,436 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 894 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vongola | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | Thatboyardee | 58% | 76 |
| #3 | Milkjug | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | JoNe$Y | 53% | 94 |
| #5 | Szabo666 | 52% | 362 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Playoff Run | 49% | 92 |
| #10 | Limmy | 47% | 60 |
| #11 | BOB | 46% | 63 |
| #12 | Small Engine Tech | 45% | 42 |
| #13 | ItsAlmightyB | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Szabo666 | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Milkjug | 13 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Floyd all 12 | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | LemmeSmellYa | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Thatboyardee | 9 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Szabo666 | 1394 | 0.18 | 33 min |
| #2 | Playoff Run | 519 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | LemmeSmellYa | 460 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | Dylete | 302 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | Limmy | 223 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoNe$Y | +3.73 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | Milkjug | +3.36 | 75 | 36 |
| #3 | Thatboyardee | +2.79 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | Limmy | +1.53 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | Sunday Tiger | +0.95 | 64 | 68 |





