








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 316 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3194 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3194 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3593 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3656 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,507 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Sunday Tiger | 59% | 63 |
| #3 | Vex | 58% | 84 |
| #4 | JoNe$Y | 58% | 175 |
| #5 | Milkjug | 57% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sunday Tiger | 59% | 63 |
| #3 | Vex | 58% | 84 |
| #4 | JoNe$Y | 58% | 175 |
| #5 | Milkjug | 57% | 131 |
| #6 | Playoff Run | 56% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milkjug | 24 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Playoff Run | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Vex | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | JoNe$Y | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Sunday Tiger | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Playoff Run | 1005 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #2 | JoNe$Y | 345 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Milkjug | 269 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sunday Tiger | 248 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | Vex | 226 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoNe$Y | +3.48 | 92 | 57 |
| #2 | Milkjug | +3.38 | 81 | 40 |
| #3 | Vongola | -0.34 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | Vex | -1.03 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | Sunday Tiger | -1.08 | 62 | 70 |





