








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7379 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6098 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3232 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5124 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,367,086 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | en kubikkmeter ost | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Shocker | 60% | 77 |
| #3 | MrRedsea | 54% | 197 |
| #4 | Ty Lee | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | namtaB | 50% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Marshall | 47% | 158 |
| #11 | [EXD] La0uD | 47% | 77 |
| #12 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 47% | 291 |
| #13 | Selatius | 47% | 118 |
| #14 | SHINING. | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marshall | 21 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | MrRedsea | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Zewkaz | 17 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | -=Grandiosa=- | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 11 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrRedsea | 891 | 0.21 | 28 min |
| #2 | Marshall | 792 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #3 | Zewkaz | 786 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #4 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 639 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #5 | Becks | 542 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shocker | +3.75 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | Marshall | +3.32 | 68 | 79 |
| #3 | Ty Lee | +2.62 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | Zewkaz | +2.58 | 78 | 78 |
| #5 | MrRedsea | +1.45 | 66 | 79 |





