








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1949 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4218 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5482 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5298 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,596,504 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angel | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | MrRedsea | 51% | 140 |
| #3 | Marshall | 50% | 126 |
| #4 | Shocker | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 48% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Becks | 45% | 77 |
| #9 | [EXD] La0uD | 45% | 53 |
| #10 | Zewkaz | 45% | 125 |
| #11 | Selatius | 40% | 122 |
| #12 | SHINING. | 35% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 18 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | MrRedsea | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Marshall | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Zewkaz | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Becks | 8 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 1118 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | MrRedsea | 713 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #3 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 706 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #4 | Marshall | 695 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #5 | Zewkaz | 527 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shocker | +3.72 | 86 | 49 |
| #2 | Marshall | +3.56 | 68 | 79 |
| #3 | Zewkaz | +2.64 | 81 | 77 |
| #4 | MrRedsea | +2.09 | 68 | 80 |
| #5 | [EXD] La0uD | +0.12 | 67 | 74 |





