








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4806 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3749 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3987 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2889 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $866,352 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ty Lee | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | Selatius | 52% | 96 |
| #3 | namtaB | 50% | 197 |
| #4 | Andyboost | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | -=Grandiosa=- | 50% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 47% | 158 |
| #10 | Zewkaz | 41% | 59 |
| #11 | [EXD] La0uD | 39% | 28 |
| #12 | Angel | 39% | 82 |
| #13 | Xantou^ | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Ty Lee | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | namtaB | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | -=Grandiosa=- | 7 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 709 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 520 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | Becks | 453 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #4 | Zewkaz | 275 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ty Lee | 210 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marshall | +2.97 | 68 | 80 |
| #2 | Zewkaz | +2.64 | 75 | 80 |
| #3 | Ty Lee | +2.09 | 72 | 77 |
| #4 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | -0.09 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | [EXD] La0uD | -0.38 | 63 | 71 |





