








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1664 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2351 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2710 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2346 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,201,419 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ty Lee | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | Becks | 52% | 79 |
| #3 | MrRedsea | 52% | 122 |
| #4 | Shocker | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Marshall | 50% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Selatius | 46% | 146 |
| #11 | SHINING. | 44% | 86 |
| #12 | Zewkaz | 43% | 96 |
| #13 | Angel | 39% | 85 |
| #14 | Xantou^ | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrRedsea | 21 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Marshall | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Zewkaz | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marshall | 974 | 0.23 | 30 min |
| #2 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 889 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #3 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 615 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #4 | MrRedsea | 605 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #5 | Zewkaz | 462 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shocker | +4.16 | 88 | 43 |
| #2 | Marshall | +3.07 | 69 | 81 |
| #3 | Zewkaz | +2.96 | 79 | 81 |
| #4 | MrRedsea | +2.16 | 65 | 82 |
| #5 | Ty Lee | +1.66 | 71 | 76 |





