








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5255 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5063 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3156 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4749 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $855,575 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amfetaminol | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | eMG | 54% | 234 |
| #3 | Perka | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Rybak | 53% | 148 |
| #5 | Kinematograf | 53% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eMG | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Zaur | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Rybak | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Kinematograf | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amfetaminol | +2.17 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Kinematograf | +1.45 | 67 | 56 |
| #3 | eMG | +1.43 | 52 | 58 |
| #4 | borek | +0.37 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | Rybak | -0.24 | 68 | 59 |





