








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 920 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 573 matches | ||
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Wingman | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8623 | 23% |
| Smokes | 10268 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 10239 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7937 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,760,845 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amfetaminol | 63% | 88 |
| #2 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | 55% | 264 |
| #3 | borek | 54% | 234 |
| #4 | Kinematograf | 54% | 400 |
| #5 | Zaur | 53% | 862 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Zaur | 53% | 862 |
| #6 | Rybak | 53% | 175 |
| #7 | zira. | 51% | 252 |
| #8 | Perka | 48% | 106 |
| #9 | Black Cat | 44% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaur | 20 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | borek | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Kinematograf | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | zira. | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaur | 5086 | 0.27 | 144 min |
| #2 | borek | 1174 | 0.23 | 29 min |
| #3 | Rybak | 527 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Perka | 460 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #5 | Kinematograf | 446 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amfetaminol | +1.91 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | Kinematograf | +1.80 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | eMG | +0.85 | 55 | 57 |
| #4 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | +0.52 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | borek | -0.03 | 68 | 73 |





