








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1189 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1793 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1486 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1907 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,239 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaur | 66% | 89 |
| #2 | eMG | 63% | 88 |
| #3 | borek | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | habibi | 59% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | habibi | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Zaur | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | borek | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | eMG | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Rybak | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaur | 565 | 0.29 | 15 min |
| #2 | eMG | 249 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | borek | 181 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | habibi | 146 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Rybak | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |





