








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1284 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2086 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2062 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1530 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,362,123 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rybak | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | 57% | 123 |
| #3 | Kinematograf | 51% | 82 |
| #4 | eMG | 51% | 252 |
| #5 | Zaur | 49% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kinematograf | 51% | 82 |
| #4 | eMG | 51% | 252 |
| #5 | Zaur | 49% | 249 |
| #6 | amfetaminol | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | borek | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eMG | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | borek | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Zaur | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | amfetaminol | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaur | 1291 | 0.24 | 37 min |
| #2 | eMG | 739 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | borek | 255 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | 157 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kinematograf | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinematograf | +2.90 | 67 | 56 |
| #2 | amfetaminol | +2.58 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | eMG | +1.94 | 60 | 59 |
| #4 | Rybak | +0.89 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | +0.56 | 70 | 59 |





