








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2307 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1196 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1796 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2038 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,736 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuaZo🍌 | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | SPUKA :> | 53% | 103 |
| #4 | NYSchnitzeI | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | kei | 52% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NYSchnitzeI | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | kei | 52% | 108 |
| #6 | fREDDyØde | 52% | 135 |
| #7 | MrFail_HD | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | jackjony | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPUKA :> | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | fREDDyØde | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | kei | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | jackjony | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPUKA :> | 383 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | fREDDyØde | 337 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | jackjony | 80 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | kei | 61 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fREDDyØde | +3.69 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | jackjony | +2.26 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | Green | +1.14 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | LuaZo🍌 | -0.16 | 65 | 68 |
| #5 | SPUKA :> | -0.93 | 36 | 68 |





