








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 191 matches | ||
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3560 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3342 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3767 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,439,569 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 652 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuaZo🍌 | 62% | 85 |
| #2 | Green | 53% | 103 |
| #3 | fREDDyØde | 53% | 334 |
| #4 | MonTrey | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | THE MUFFIN MAN | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | MrFail_HD | 52% | 85 |
| #7 | jackjony | 52% | 29 |
| #8 | kei | 52% | 287 |
| #9 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 49% | 172 |
| #10 | IHML | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fREDDyØde | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | kei | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Green | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | LuaZo🍌 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fREDDyØde | 749 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #2 | Green | 381 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | LuaZo🍌 | 335 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 321 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | kei | 203 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fREDDyØde | +3.76 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | THE MUFFIN MAN | +2.31 | 86 | 68 |
| #3 | jackjony | +1.78 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | MonTrey | +1.13 | 66 | 78 |
| #5 | Green | +0.92 | 78 | 56 |





