








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 758 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 246 matches | ||
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3651 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5851 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4478 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4058 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,684,049 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 531 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuaZo🍌 | 63% | 99 |
| #2 | MonTrey | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | Shaeggi | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | THE MUFFIN MAN | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | FL4W | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | kei | 52% | 353 |
| #9 | Green | 52% | 135 |
| #10 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 49% | 172 |
| #11 | MrFail_HD | 49% | 118 |
| #12 | IHML | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPUKA :> | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | kei | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Green | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | THE MUFFIN MAN | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPUKA :> | 1071 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | Green | 470 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | LuaZo🍌 | 396 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | MonTrey | 313 | 0.35 | 9 min |
| #5 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 285 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fREDDyØde | +3.62 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | jackjony | +1.69 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | FL4W | +1.21 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | THE MUFFIN MAN | +1.16 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | Green | +0.84 | 79 | 57 |





