








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 588 | 36% |
| Smokes | 478 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 288 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $48,347 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrFail_HD | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | fREDDyØde | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | SPUKA :> | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | kei | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Green | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrFail_HD | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | fREDDyØde | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | SPUKA :> | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | kei | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Green | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fREDDyØde | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | SPUKA :> | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Green | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | MrFail_HD | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPUKA :> | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Green | 71 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | fREDDyØde | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | MrFail_HD | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | kei | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fREDDyØde | +4.09 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | jackjony | +1.74 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | Green | +0.37 | 77 | 56 |
| #4 | SPUKA :> | -1.68 | 33 | 60 |
| #5 | MrFail_HD | -2.41 | 56 | 54 |





