








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 181 matches | ||
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1233 | 9% |
| Smokes | 4202 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4377 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4391 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,435,383 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuaZo🍌 | 61% | 85 |
| #2 | fREDDyØde | 52% | 353 |
| #3 | Green | 52% | 108 |
| #4 | SPUKA :> | 52% | 287 |
| #5 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 50% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPUKA :> | 901 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | fREDDyØde | 761 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #3 | Green | 364 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | w3dnesday ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 352 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | LuaZo🍌 | 349 | 0.19 | 8 min |





