








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3973 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4678 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3129 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4173 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,166 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuN1 | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | .nco | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Headshot | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | neo | 55% | 178 |
| #5 | 💜 | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sladE | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | FlyingFridge | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Fischspalte | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | ✰ alive | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | neo | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fischspalte | 506 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | neo | 344 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | sladE | 316 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✰ alive | 280 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | tuN1 | 209 | 0.44 | 4 min |





