








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 309 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4073 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4612 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5456 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3634 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,082,909 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Samyyy ツ | 53% | 64 |
| #14 | 💜 | 51% | 37 |
| #15 | .nunuc[t] | 50% | 36 |
| #16 | sladE | 49% | 140 |
| #17 | .nco | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sladE | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Pr0f_Meow | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Fischspalte | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | tuN1 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | extra | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuN1 | 1474 | 0.40 | 37 min |
| #2 | Pr0f_Meow | 611 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Fischspalte | 346 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | sladE | 343 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | extra | 321 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tico | +2.98 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | tuN1 | +2.57 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | 💜 | +1.89 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | epix | +1.70 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | EIK3000 | +1.64 | 75 | 69 |





