








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1647 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1445 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1516 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1225 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,211 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neo | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | 💜 | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | sladE | 51% | 80 |
| #4 | Pr0f_Meow | 50% | 64 |
| #5 | Fischspalte | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 💜 | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | sladE | 51% | 80 |
| #4 | Pr0f_Meow | 50% | 64 |
| #5 | Fischspalte | 50% | 107 |
| #6 | FlyingFridge | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sladE | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Fischspalte | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Pr0f_Meow | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | FlyingFridge | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | neo | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fischspalte | 263 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Pr0f_Meow | 211 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | sladE | 204 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | neo | 95 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | 💜 | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💜 | +1.99 | 90 | 61 |
| #2 | Pr0f_Meow | +1.02 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | ✰ alive | +0.69 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | FlyingFridge | +0.65 | 82 | 57 |
| #5 | sladE | +0.58 | 62 | 61 |





