








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 898 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 305 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3551 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3871 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6563 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 3299 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,982,765 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Pr0f_Meow | 53% | 193 |
| #7 | FlyingFridge | 53% | 128 |
| #8 | sladE | 52% | 203 |
| #9 | Headshot | 52% | 79 |
| #10 | ✰ alive | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sladE | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Pr0f_Meow | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ✰ alive | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | neo | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | FlyingFridge | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr0f_Meow | 740 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | sladE | 526 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | ✰ alive | 464 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | neo | 296 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | 💜 | 222 | 0.15 | 7 min |





