








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2179 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2237 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2340 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1985 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,028,195 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 606 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr0f_Meow | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | Fischspalte | 54% | 70 |
| #3 | ✰ alive | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | neo | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | FlyingFridge | 50% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Fischspalte | 54% | 70 |
| #3 | ✰ alive | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | neo | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | FlyingFridge | 50% | 123 |
| #6 | sladE | 48% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlyingFridge | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | sladE | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ✰ alive | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Fischspalte | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Pr0f_Meow | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sladE | 310 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Pr0f_Meow | 185 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Fischspalte | 171 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | FlyingFridge | 80 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✰ alive | 69 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✰ alive | +1.48 | 61 | 66 |
| #2 | Pr0f_Meow | +1.41 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | 💜 | +1.39 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | FlyingFridge | +0.61 | 86 | 47 |
| #5 | sladE | -0.49 | 64 | 61 |





