








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3209 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2431 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1797 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2408 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,047 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4xXxo0or1(3)(3)7*swuaag*Gebhart | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | ✪ Felix | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | skambi | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | spiiKe | 47% | 70 |
| #5 | alu | 46% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | spiiKe | 47% | 70 |
| #5 | alu | 46% | 152 |
| #6 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 45% | 112 |
| #7 | Oni鬼 | 39% | 41 |
| #8 | Contract Killer | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Contract Killer | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | spiiKe | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | H4xXxo0or1(3)(3)7*swuaag*Gebhart | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | 858 | 0.27 | 25 min |
| #2 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 431 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | spiiKe | 287 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | skambi | 135 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Contract Killer | 124 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | +4.05 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | antiside | +0.50 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | H4xXxo0or1(3)(3)7*swuaag*Gebhart | +0.06 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | ✪ Felix | -0.25 | 63 | 73 |
| #5 | skambi | -0.48 | 74 | 59 |





