








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2379 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2082 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1107 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1793 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,743 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miraculix | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Acnologia #lost | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Mirai | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | H4xXxo0or1(3)(3)7*swuaag*Gebhart | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | alu | 49% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | antiside | 47% | 70 |
| #8 | Oni鬼 | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | skambi | 46% | 96 |
| #10 | Contract Killer | 43% | 35 |
| #11 | ✪ Felix | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | antiside | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Oni鬼 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | H4xXxo0or1(3)(3)7*swuaag*Gebhart | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | 959 | 0.26 | 27 min |
| #2 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 540 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | skambi | 378 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | antiside | 326 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | Contract Killer | 136 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | +4.24 | 90 | 72 |
| #2 | skambi | +0.64 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | antiside | -0.03 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | H4xXxo0or1(3)(3)7*swuaag*Gebhart | -0.38 | 71 | 38 |
| #5 | spiiKe | -0.75 | 61 | 68 |





