








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1245 | 38% |
| Smokes | 910 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 330 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 832 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,505 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syyze | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Whompter | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | antiside | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | H4xXxo0or1(3)(3)7*swuaag*Gebhart | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | spiiKe | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | spiiKe | 46% | 96 |
| #6 | alu | 44% | 94 |
| #7 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 43% | 83 |
| #8 | Oni鬼 | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | ✪ Felix | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Oni鬼 | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | antiside | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | H4xXxo0or1(3)(3)7*swuaag*Gebhart | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | 479 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | spiiKe | 342 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 296 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | antiside | 178 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Oni鬼 | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | +4.26 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | syyze | +1.20 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | Whompter | +0.86 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | skambi | +0.44 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | ✪ Felix | -0.17 | 55 | 70 |





