








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6035 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5141 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2219 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3301 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $764,466 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Th0mps3n | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Whompter | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | syyze | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | spiiKe | 49% | 184 |
| #5 | Acnologia #lost | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 45% | 313 |
| #9 | skambi | 44% | 94 |
| #10 | ✪ Felix | 41% | 32 |
| #11 | Oni鬼 | 36% | 114 |
| #12 | Contract Killer | 35% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | H4xXxo0or1(3)(3)7*swuaag*Gebhart | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Oni鬼 | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | spiiKe | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | antiside | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆♥ Saphiraja ♥☆ | 1071 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | spiiKe | 718 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #3 | antiside | 668 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #4 | skambi | 407 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | Contract Killer | 351 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alu | +4.25 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | ♿ Th0mps3n | +1.24 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | Whompter | +0.45 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | skambi | +0.37 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | antiside | +0.14 | 69 | 57 |





