








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 977 | 27% |
| Smokes | 927 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 693 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1005 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,983 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | easyYyYyY^m$ | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | shakeRr- | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | moin | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | IronTony | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | IronTony | 57% | 7 |
| #6 | 5ch0lli | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | mrmj | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | ar1don | 47% | 19 |
| #9 | magicXX | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | magicXX | 2 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | moin | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | shakeRr- | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | IronTony | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moin | 118 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | shakeRr- | 100 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | 5ch0lli | 51 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ar1don | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | easyYyYyY^m$ | +5.32 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | ok)))))))))))))))) | +3.04 | 92 | 51 |
| #3 | magicXX | +2.34 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | moin | +2.02 | 86 | 70 |
| #5 | mrmj | +1.17 | 78 | 57 |





