








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3726 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2519 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1967 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2122 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,113 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 696 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | mrmj | 59% | 27 |
| #6 | ✞ | 59% | 22 |
| #7 | illusN | 54% | 111 |
| #8 | statikS | 54% | 26 |
| #9 | magicXX | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illusN | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | statikS | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | mrmj | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | magicXX | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Kebab | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illusN | 265 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Kebab | 134 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | mrmj | 94 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | stewje | 77 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | magicXX | 62 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebab | +2.61 | 93 | 72 |
| #2 | magicXX | +2.19 | 87 | 45 |
| #3 | shakeRr- | +1.73 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | stewje | +0.36 | 91 | 74 |
| #5 | mrmj | +0.14 | 93 | 51 |





