








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 955 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 467 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8527 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7267 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5181 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6216 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,255,787 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sir Gilbert | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 48% | 56 |
| #4 | Brett.io | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | TRiBAN | 44% | 43 |
| #6 | M3lary | 43% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brett.io | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Sir Gilbert | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | TRiBAN | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | M3lary | 1 | 0.0006 |





