








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1177 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1119 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 967 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 931 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,793 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | marius | 56% | 25 |
| #8 | Kebab | 56% | 9 |
| #9 | xCHEFy0 | 56% | 27 |
| #10 | illusN | 53% | 17 |
| #11 | ✞ | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magicXX | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | shakeRr- | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | illusN | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | ^_^ | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | SlaynThemAll | 2 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shakeRr- | 107 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | marius | 107 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | xCHEFy0 | 79 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | magicXX | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Newzeha | 56 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^_^ | +3.39 | 96 | 64 |
| #2 | magicXX | +2.64 | 89 | 48 |
| #3 | Newzeha | +1.84 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | shakeRr- | +1.38 | 84 | 58 |
| #5 | mrmj | +1.09 | 90 | 57 |





