








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 710 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 493 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2102 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4306 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3105 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3974 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,118,353 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 443 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | youtube.com/@Vproxd | 74% | 62 |
| #2 | whySoGooD? Drugs | 71% | 100 |
| #3 | _hssgod | 63% | 194 |
| #4 | Xiah | 63% | 286 |
| #5 | assassinwow | 62% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | assassinwow | 62% | 130 |
| #6 | sWaG | 62% | 514 |
| #7 | AquaLeo | 62% | 206 |
| #8 | Xenon | 58% | 36 |
| #9 | JoeY | 57% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | 38 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Xiah | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | _hssgod | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | whySoGooD? Drugs | 14 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | AquaLeo | 12 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | 3483 | 0.32 | 93 min |
| #2 | AquaLeo | 872 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #3 | Xiah | 607 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | JoeY | 422 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | _hssgod | 376 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | +2.21 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | Xenon | +2.01 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | youtube.com/@Vproxd | +1.55 | 79 | 55 |
| #4 | _hssgod | +1.35 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | whySoGooD? Drugs | +1.24 | 72 | 64 |





