








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3124 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4299 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2572 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2719 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $721,710 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | assassinwow | 58% | 86 |
| #6 | sWaG | 57% | 367 |
| #7 | shifu | 57% | 241 |
| #8 | AquaLeo | 54% | 139 |
| #9 | _hssgod | 54% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | 32 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | shifu | 24 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | whySoGooD? Drugs | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | AquaLeo | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Xiah | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | 2519 | 0.33 | 68 min |
| #2 | AquaLeo | 606 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | Xiah | 359 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | _hssgod | 282 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | shifu | 212 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^tJ | +2.31 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | sWaG | +2.04 | 70 | 79 |
| #3 | whySoGooD? Drugs | +1.11 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | _hssgod | +0.90 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | shifu | +0.21 | 70 | 41 |





