








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1472 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1332 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1580 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1991 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,205 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sWaG | 59% | 200 |
| #5 | JoeY | 58% | 86 |
| #6 | Xiah | 57% | 130 |
| #7 | _hssgod | 56% | 81 |
| #8 | AquaLeo | 53% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | shifu | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | AquaLeo | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | _hssgod | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | JoeY | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | 1421 | 0.33 | 38 min |
| #2 | AquaLeo | 331 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Xiah | 295 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | JoeY | 181 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | _hssgod | 142 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | +2.31 | 69 | 77 |
| #2 | _hssgod | +1.43 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | whySoGooD? Drugs | +1.25 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | JoeY | +0.71 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | AquaLeo | +0.54 | 66 | 60 |





