








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4946 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4510 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1607 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3311 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,190 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sWaG | 57% | 318 |
| #7 | Xiah | 56% | 142 |
| #8 | whySoGooD? Drugs | 55% | 55 |
| #9 | JoeY | 54% | 139 |
| #10 | assassinwow | 53% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | 25 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | shifu | 20 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | whySoGooD? Drugs | 10 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Xiah | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | assassinwow | 8 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWaG | 2277 | 0.34 | 61 min |
| #2 | Xiah | 291 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | JoeY | 252 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | _hssgod | 247 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | shifu | 190 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^tJ | +2.16 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | sWaG | +1.95 | 68 | 74 |
| #3 | whySoGooD? Drugs | +1.56 | 70 | 58 |
| #4 | _hssgod | +1.04 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | shifu | +0.57 | 69 | 46 |





