








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 911 | 32% |
| Smokes | 873 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 647 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 447 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,213 of utility $301 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | USSR BALOU | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | ✪ MSD ✪ | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Supreme-Leader | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | Kapperladen | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Balou lovers - KarstenKantsten | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balou lovers - Young Dev1ceツ | 13 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Hamsa missetat | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | BombeBias | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | USSR BALOU | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Balou lovers - KarstenKantsten | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamsa missetat | 184 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Balou lovers - Young Dev1ceツ | 107 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Balou lovers - KarstenKantsten | 79 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Supreme-Leader | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | USSR BALOU | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supreme-Leader | +2.01 | 56 | 47 |
| #2 | Balou lovers - KarstenKantsten | +1.97 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | Kapperladen | +1.43 | 71 | 29 |
| #4 | ✪ MSD ✪ | +1.41 | 75 | 6 |
| #5 | USSR BALOU | +1.18 | 70 | 54 |





