








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2357 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4750 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3815 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4225 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,505,355 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 516 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil missekat | 49 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | KarstenKantsten | 42 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | moew moew | 31 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | ButterCup Snusaim | 16 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Supreme-Leader | 15 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil missekat | 505 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | KarstenKantsten | 497 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Karlo | 327 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Supreme-Leader | 291 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | moew moew | 289 | 0.09 | 6 min |





