








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1520 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3601 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 2913 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1211 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,391,715 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ´ཀ`)っ | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | PixelatedMemory | 49% | 127 |
| #3 | i shoot feet | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | PixelPkn | 47% | 75 |
| #5 | deepfried | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | TTV Cooper420 | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | ✯Schwifty✯ | 39% | 33 |
| #8 | Craig | 36% | 22 |
| #9 | Newt | 31% | 35 |
| #10 | moon | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PixelatedMemory | 23 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | deepfried | 14 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Craig | 13 | 0.0281 |
| #4 | ✯Schwifty✯ | 7 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | (っ´ཀ`)っ | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PixelatedMemory | 355 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | deepfried | 168 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Craig | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | (っ´ཀ`)っ | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | moon | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moon | +4.72 | 79 | 42 |
| #2 | PixelatedMemory | +4.66 | 52 | 47 |
| #3 | ✯Schwifty✯ | +0.94 | 70 | 36 |
| #4 | TTV Cooper420 | +0.69 | 62 | 45 |
| #5 | deepfried | -0.91 | 62 | 27 |





