








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 955 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1595 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1398 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 698 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1650 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,058 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2969 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRSPYTATERTOTz | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | PauseNPlay | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | PixelatedMemory | 51% | 77 |
| #4 | -yd | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Goobert | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abzbzbzzz | 172 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | PixelatedMemory | 157 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | CRSPYTATERTOTz | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | -yd | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | KungFoy ♡ | 85 | 0.06 | 1 min |





