








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 410 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




92 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5799 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1115 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 6104 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4361 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,689,853 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 863 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Griff | 49% | 102 |
| #7 | ✯Schwifty✯ | 49% | 243 |
| #8 | CRSPYTATERTOTz | 49% | 127 |
| #9 | ShaneG20 | 43% | 67 |
| #10 | Craig | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯Schwifty✯ | 26 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Craig | 16 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | Griff | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | deepfried | 10 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | CRSPYTATERTOTz | 8 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRSPYTATERTOTz | 289 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✯Schwifty✯ | 261 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | deepfried | 175 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | abzbzbzzz | 138 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Craig | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |





