








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




124 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5660 | 48% |
| Smokes | 2581 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1375 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2252 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,225,314 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 718 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PixelatedMemory | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | ✯Schwifty✯ | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | H0LL0WS! | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | CRSPYTATERTOTz | 43% | 61 |
| #5 | i shoot feet | 36% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ✯Schwifty✯ | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | H0LL0WS! | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | CRSPYTATERTOTz | 43% | 61 |
| #5 | i shoot feet | 36% | 56 |
| #6 | HiddenJuJuBeast | 26% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯Schwifty✯ | 13 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | PixelatedMemory | 10 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | CRSPYTATERTOTz | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | i shoot feet | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | H0LL0WS! | 4 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HiddenJuJuBeast | 176 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | PixelatedMemory | 126 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | CRSPYTATERTOTz | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | i shoot feet | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | H0LL0WS! | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PixelatedMemory | +3.44 | 53 | 44 |
| #2 | ✯Schwifty✯ | +2.12 | 67 | 36 |
| #3 | H0LL0WS! | +0.04 | 20 | 46 |
| #4 | deepfried | -0.51 | 58 | 28 |
| #5 | HiddenJuJuBeast | -1.03 | 33 | 65 |





