








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 579 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 169 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2318 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3549 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3136 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3150 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,648,544 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Clap | 51% | 77 |
| #6 | Raymond Le Roi du Saucisson | 49% | 97 |
| #7 | Alu- | 49% | 69 |
| #8 | Biggi_007 | 48% | 208 |
| #9 | Akah24 | 48% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biggi_007 | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Sighen | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Akah24 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Alu- | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Raymond Le Roi du Saucisson | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biggi_007 | 831 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | Sighen | 440 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Raymond Le Roi du Saucisson | 420 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | Akah24 | 290 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Clap | 145 | 0.09 | 4 min |





